There have been a series of incidents, or run-ins with information, which – combined – have caused me to be more disturbed by the issue of abortion than I ever have been in my life. While I do not agree with the practice, and have worn the little pro-Life pin displaying a set of baby feet on my lapel without any shame, I am not one to go pointing the persecuting finger at anyone. Maybe because I know what it feels like to be scorned and judged. So I do not and never have picketed in front of abortion clinics. I do not set bombs, nor wish to strip health practitioners of their licenses if they perform abortions. I have never had an abortion. I tried once, to work for a Christian group that helped birth mothers… but they did not want me because I was Mormon.

Thanks to Ma Thyroid I have struggled to conceive, carry and bear the children I have. For the past 10 years I have been told it is near-impossible for me to have any children, and yet, I have. If I were wealthy, I would probably adopt, but I am not.

1. At a recent local gathering of women of my faith, nobody blinked an eye

when birth control was rather flippantly brought up and praised as the “like, DUH” cure-all to an overabundance of obviously unwanted children. Was my jaw the only one to hit the floor and did anyone hear that thud echoing and reverberating through the room? Apparently. What is happening to what I thought was the culture of my faith?

While I do not wish to condemn, I – was – shocked. I had to sit back a second and re-evaluate… Did I miss something? Did something change without me hearing about it? Nope.

“Our love of the Savior is the key to Savior-like obedience. As we strive to be obedient in today’s world, we declare our love and respect for all of Heavenly Father’s children. Yet it is impossible for this love for others to modify God’s commandments, which were given for our good! For example, the commandment “thou shalt not … kill, nor do anything like unto it” is founded upon spiritual law that protects all of God’s children, even the unborn. Long experience suggests that when we ignore this law, immeasurable sorrow results. Yet many believe it is acceptable to terminate the life of an unborn child for reasons of preference or convenience. To rationalize disobedience does not change spiritual law or its consequences but leads to confusion, instability, wandering in strange paths, being lost, and grief. As disciples of Christ, we have a sacred obligation to uphold His laws and commandments and the covenants which we take upon ourselves.” – Elder Robert D. Hales, LDS Apostle, April 5, 2014 2.

2. I learned about an unabashedly pro-abortion group in Washington DC

who rewarded its fundraiser contributors with a necklace charm that looked like a little tiny silver coat-hanger. Though a Christian, I choose not to wear a cross as the symbol of my belief because, when I think of my Savior, he is alive and no longer suffering for me there. Author M. Scott Peck related a story in his book about parents who gave their son a gun as a gift which happened to be the very same gun which had killed his brother… and how abhorrent this was to the boy. This is how I feel about crosses. I would no more glory in the weapon that killed Jesus than I would glory in the weapon not being used anymore to kill babies because we have great new ones that do it so much more cleanly and clinic-ly now. I would neither wear a silver cross nor a silver hanger. I would wear a symbol of love, eternal families and the living Christ. screen-capture-20

3. For all my longing and trying, I do not have more children.

The timer on my birth clock is coming to the end. Meanwhile, it seems that my facebook feed has taken on a popcorn-like quality… friends, acquaintances and strangers are all, like, POP! POP! POP! We are having a baby! We are having another baby! Look, we are expecting our sixth child! I am happy for them and try not to feel like Hans Christian Anderson’s Little Match-Girl, with my face pressed up against a glass window behind which are good things I can never have. I struggle to remain focused on counting the jewels I already have in my crown instead of thinking of the ones who may be missing, or never come. screen-capture-19

4. Then there is the PBS series, Call The Midwife.

They started Season 3 recently, but I felt a little disoriented by where they took up the story again and so went back and re-watched Season 2. More like, re-listened to it, as I did some knitting. Whereas I had watched Episode 5 before, this time, while listening instead of seeing, I was sickened and appalled to realize how many times she asked some form of, Is “it” dead yet? or growled some version of Kill it! like she did with the rat crawling over the baby she left unattended in the hallway. Why hadn’t I seen it before, why hadn’t it bothered me before than the husband and wife worked actively as a team to kill their own child in the same room where it was conceived, within the hearing of their other children (though they tried to shield it from their sight)? Herbalism was negatively portrayed of course, but why would the mother RETURN to the woman in the back-alley who had failed her before? If this unwanted child was so expensive, why did they give up all the treasure they had – including her wedding ring – to be rid of it? How long could they  have cared for the baby with that treasure? What crime would there have been letting the baby live and then giving it up for adoption after it was born?I also found the head nun’s reaction to the discovery of the abortion and the mother’s hemorrhage inconceivable. A woman of the cloth who puts aside her beliefs and the laws of her country?

A man and a wife, an Adam and an Eve, sorrowing because they cannot “have their fun” without its consequences? Killing the product of their love – God and nature’s blessing upon their union – seemed the most un-marriagelike and un-wedded-couple-like thing that they could have possibly done.  This “Father Adam”, despite his best efforts to provide and his tepid attempt to protect the life of his unborn child, neither leads nor protects in this situation.  The “Mother Eve” does everything but nurture, or foster the growth of, the unborn life within her.  Rather than following than the script given to Adam and Eve, it seems the world prefers and repeatedly picks the couple they made up themselves: Aphrodite and Molech.  Furthermore, having read the original books way before this series was even made, I finally realized during the viewing of this episode that PBS’s Call The Midwife was really more stealthy feminist propaganda and less faithful retelling of an English midwife’s autobiography. I know that at least two schools of midwifery in the United States are experiencing huge upsurges of enrollments because of this show. I know this because representatives from both institutions told me so as I was investigating my educational options. I am not sure if that result – more midwives – is what PBS had in mind.


5. Imagining more midwives flooding the world is especially concerning

when one starts to crunch current numbers and statistics about birth. What work will there be for these droves of new midwives when most of the civilized world is actually in depopulation freefall? Watch the documentary, New Economic Reality: Demographic Winter if  you would like to know why I am concerned. reports that more than 99% of women age 15-44 who have ever had sexual intercourse have used at least 1 contraceptive method.  Some 62% of women of reproductive age are currently using a contraceptive method.  77% of married women use them, and the number goes up to 93% in the “at-risk”category of married women. At risk of what? Of getting pregnant, described like it is a disease.

6. All of this brought the old Biblical practice of sacrificing to Molech to mind.

It was the ancient world’s way of escaping the consequences of the prostitution and sexual orgies which took place in their groves, many of which were dedicated to the worship of the fertility goddess Aphrodite. So I looked Molech up on “Wiccapedia”. Here is a direct quote from the Wikipedia reference on Molech, listed under the subheading of Classical Greek and Roman Accounts: “Paul G. Mosca, in his thesis described below, translates Cleitarchus’ paraphrase of a scholium to Plato’s Republic as:

There stands in their midst a bronze statue of Kronos, its hands extended over a bronze brazier, the flames of which engulf the child. When the flames fall upon the body, the limbs contract and the open mouth seems almost to be laughing until the contracted body slips quietly into the brazier. Thus it is that the ‘grin’ is known as ‘sardonic laughter,’ since they die laughing.”

When one googles the term sardonic, one learns that it is often confused with the word  sarcastic.  Really? Do you think the little story above might clear that up a bit? Do we think about the things we say, such as I just died laughing and wonder, perhaps, where that expression came from? I couldn’t help thinking of meme faces here, either. (troll, crying, happy, LOL, No). Is this some kind of inside joke among the Cronos crowd?

Think I am kidding? What about the two hospitals in UK who recently admitted to incinerating the bodies of newborn babies as “green energy”? Holocaust much? Why don’t we just streamline things and supply every hospital with a crematorium? Unless they are like the guy in Fahrenheit 451, dead people won’t know the difference anyway, right? After all, it’s free energy, right? In fact, let’s just get efficient with our building construction:  We will put hospitals on the east, nursing homes on the west, abortion clinics on the north, animal control on the south, with a gleaming crematorium in the middle… and connect them all by conveyor belt!! It’s like some sick kind of Maltese Cross.

Summary: The world has gone mad.

Surely, surely, there are angels weeping every single day for the styrofoam-shrinkwrapped gleaming stainless-steel murders of convenience and babies that will never be that we as a society are glibly promoting and praising. The Call the Midwife episode clinched it: we want all the sex-sex-sexy-sex we can get, in every form, in every flavor… but not the consequences of that beautiful procreating, bonding power. We want the privilege without its responsibilitiesWe sorrow when there is no way to escape both, or choose to believe we suffer negative consequences instead of having received blessings. Why should I be so shocked and surprised to discover that instead of hating the nest, Mazie-bird and her unaccounted-for mate do not even want the egg anymore? It must be because I thought most people were better than this.


Their sorrowing was not unto repentance, because of the goodness of God; but it was rather the sorrowing of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin.” – Mormon 2:13

tru datUPDATE 2/28/2015: I can not believe this news. When I wrote about the streamlined hospital with the crematorium, I was being sarcastic; mocking to make a point. I honestly didn’t think hospital people could be that evil. Guess I was wrong. I am speechless. This action is unconscionable.