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“`My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.
‘That’s a sentence I read in a book once, and I say it over
to comfort myself whenever I’m disappointed in anything.”
– from Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

Continuing on in my Family Herbalist studies, the understanding I have sought on nutrition, food preparation and diet is slowly starting to become clear to me. The School of Natural Healing advocates what is called the Mucusless Diet. It’s heavy on the vegetables and fruits, with somewhat lesser emphasis on low-heated soaked grains. Advocates believe that animal protein is over-touted and maintain that a small amount of meat about once a week is sufficient, preferably something besides beef. There are prohibitions


Dr. John R. Christopher

against any and all processed foods (which are dead), dairy, as well as addicting substances like coffee, black tea, alcohol, sugar and drugs. (I take exception to the dairy argument, still maintaining that the chief culprit is factory-farm cow milk + pasteurization + homogenization. It’s absolutely not the same thing as raw goat milk.) Also recommended in this program are herbal teas, herbalsupplements, distilled water, fresh juicing and thoroughly chewing both foods and juices. While I understand the theory of the Mucusless Diet, I have not yet succeeded in converting over to it, mostly because I can’t seem to comprehend how to shop, prepare and cook for this kind of living on a daily, weekly, and year-round seasonal basis… including the gardening and food-preservation skills I desire to include in that path.

However, a few principles have succeeded in illuminating my Standard-American-Dietary-goop-encrusted mind… hence the lamentation of this post’s title.

When I was a little girl, we had a marvelous electronic doughnut making machine. I probably loved that appliance more than anything else in the house, because I could make delicious treats for my family all by myself. I felt so proud and pleased with the accolades, the siblings impatiently waiting for their next serving, and the mornings when I could prepare breakfast for everyone as a surprise or good deed! The doughnut maker only made 2 donuts at a time, so I think I must have spent hours with it. As my own daughter started to reach the Age of Doughnut-Making, I got my sentimental shorts in a bunch trying to find a doughnut-making machine for her in the stores, but to no avail. Lo and behold, when I was in my local Target store last month, what did I stumble upon but… my quest’s object!! There it was! New and improved! It can make FIVE doughnuts at a time, and cuter than cute, it’s BRIGHT YELLOW! Mrs. Santa Claus was in the middle of a happy dance in the store aisle when I remembered… the Mucusless Diet. Oh. Yeah. Way to rain on my parade.

Siren’s Call in Doughnut Yellow

I’ve begun a review in my mind of the stark realities of changing my way of life. The flippable Belgian Waffle Iron griddle like they have at Super 8 hotel? I can stop coveting it. The dream of still-warm homemade ice-cream cones, dripping with scoops of frozen dairy confection? Gone, along with the Pizelle Iron required to achieve it. The list goes on and on… as I shed a tear, fire a 21-gun salute, and mourn over my perfect graveyard of buried hopes. Turning, in my black garb, toward an entirely new life, now that my Standard American Diet and all her children are dead, I find that there is still an abiding appliance hope for me.

The Vitamixer

For example, the Vitamixer. I want one, I want one, I want one. Our local Costco recently ran a promotion, complete with microphoned salesman-chef. Few people realize how vitally important it is to swish and chew your food in your mouth, mixing it with plenty of saliva, before swallowing. When you wolf down your food, you skip the vital first step in it’s digestion. It’s like driving the car on the steel rims with no tires! Pretty hard going, I’d say! Poor chewing results in the digestion of only 8-10% of what you eat. Chewing both food and juices (20 times minimum per mouthful), dramatically increases absorption rates to 40-45% of intake. Because of a multigenerational degeneration of the diet in my family, I have mechanical problems when it comes to chewing. While the thought of eating baby food for the rest of my life isn’t extremely appealing, I realize the greater benefits. A Vitamixer would relieve my poor tired mandible. A Vitamixer would improve the family’s overall health, especially because I could finally sneak healthy stuff past my pickiest eater.

Another resurrected hope comes in the thought of an affordable water distiller. I can’t afford a Polar Bear and I really got burned by Love Model Distillers, the folks of Once they have your money, customer service is non-existent, and their products are made somewhere in China and they’re JUNK. My distiller RUSTED. I should have know better when I felt uncomfortable with the unprofessional way I was treated when I called to place my order. I think it’s a one man show, and not an impressive one at all. My parents used to have a mid-sized model, and that’s what I’d really like… my experience was so bad with the counter-top model before that I hesitate to buy another one. Bottom line is I have to find some company I can trust that markets excellent distillers with honesty. It’s been made quite clear in my Family Herbalist studies that distilled water is a health necessity. You can stuff anything inside the body – the oral cavity opening is, after all, accommodating – but the body can not ASSIMILATE

Jacket, Colloidal Jacket

everything it’s given. Vitamins and minerals must be living – still vibrating with energy – in order for the body to recognize it. When they’re “alive” they’re usually in colloidal form, or, wrapped inside the cell wall of a plant, like a person wearing a coat. The coat is what the body recognizes. My husband first taught me about this whole colloidal principle when he read Rod Turner’s book about colloidal composting. Without that living coat, any vitamin or mineral is just a rock… and last time I knew, human beings don’t eat rocks. So the body just shoves these unassimilable minerals wherever it can. For example, aluminum is usually dumped on the outside of the brain, coating it. Aluminum is a contributing factor to Alzheimer’s. Ever heard of hardened arteries? It’s literal, just like hard-water build-up INSIDE pipes in a house.

Rust E. Pipe’s Innards

Where are all the itty bitty pieces of Teflon going that ends up in our food from modern cookware? Certainly not toward the construction or maintenance of eyes, teeth, skin and viscera! I wasn’t born with a Teflon-recognizing and Teflon-digesting gene! Were you? Furthermore, distilled water is not dead, as many claim. Distilled water will not disturb minerals happily existing inside cells, in the colloidal fashion. Distilled water only leaches out INORGANIC minerals: the rocks your body doesn’t know what to do with. This is a good thing, folks!

buriedhopesSo while the little graveyard in the backyard of my mind now contains the dearly departed, all is not in vain. As I walk among the tombstones and remember my time together with the nonstick pots, pans and hot water pots, the microwave, the plastic plates and cups, the over-microwaved & chemically leached plastic storage containers, the aluminum water bottles, nostalgia-laced traditions, et cetera, I do not grieve, not even for the buried hopes of what I now can never buy in the future, for Here Lies the Death of My Poor Health. When I die, I’d like to hope that my posterity are better models of humanity than I have been – not just in terms of moral character, but physically as well. By sacrificing what was okay, good, convenient, cheap, comfort-zone-ish, mainstream and easy… but killing me… I have made room for the truth to enter in. So whatever further price or change or sacrifice is required, it’s worth giving up what is good or better for what is ultimately best.
It really is a perfect graveyard.


There once was a little girl who had a beloved string of plastic pearls. She wore them every day; taking this prized possession with her everywhere she went. One day her father asked her if she’d be willing to give him her pearls if he could give her something better in return. She flatly refused him, and so it was. Every so often, her father would ask her, again, if she would give him her pearls. Still, she would refuse. But one day, when her father asked her again to give him her precious plastic pearl necklace, his little daughter, with trusting tears in her eyes, gave him her treasure. Why? Because she loved her Daddy! Surely there had to be a reason why he had kept asking, and while she couldn’t imagine anything better than the thing she loved most of all, and while she couldn’t understand why he would ask her to give it up, she did… not knowing why, but trusting. Carefully putting her precious beads into his left coat pocket, her Father withdrew a black box from the other pocket and presented it to her. Inside was a real pearl necklace.  It was only then that she understood that she was his pearl of great price.

And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world,
and seek for the things of a better
– Doctrine and Covenants 25:10


Note: This essay may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. This presentation is making such material available in an effort to advance understanding of religious issues. This essay presentation is a Creative Commons work – available for free in the public domain – of criticism, commentary, research and nonprofit education and thus constitutes a ‘Fair Use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided in the United States Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107.



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